People argue husbands should contribute to household responsibilities instead of expecting their wives to manage home
Actors Shahood Alvi, Laila Zuberi and Fahima Awan recently discussed marriage, household responsibilities and the expectations placed on husbands and wives, with Alvi’s remarks about women’s appearance and personal hygiene drawing criticism on social media.
The actors appeared on a morning show to discuss common complaints between husbands and wives. During the conversation, Alvi focused on appearance and personal hygiene, arguing that women who work outside the home often make more effort to look and smell presentable than those who spend most of their time at home.
“If there is a smell of ginger and garlic, you will not feel like talking,” Alvi said while discussing women who stay at home. Comparing them with working women, he added, “Naturally, the women in offices wear perfumes,” questioning why homemakers do not pay the same attention to their personal hygiene.
Alvi’s comments prompted criticism from viewers, with some arguing that husbands should contribute more to household responsibilities instead of expecting their wives to manage the home while also maintaining a particular appearance.
One viewer wrote, “Men really need to up their game and their wives [need] full-time household help. While growing up, I saw women around me dressing up before their husbands came home, but I also saw them having a support system, household help, and also their husbands appreciating them.”
Another viewer criticised the emphasis on women’s appearance, arguing that the daily work performed by homemakers often goes unrecognised.
“You complain about garlic and ginger smells, just so you guys have food on your table. Your guests are served, tea time is arranged, chores are done, clothes are washed, house maintained, wardrobes arranged,” the user commented.
Some viewers also questioned why Zuberi and Awan appeared to agree with Alvi’s remarks and laughed during the discussion about women dressing up at home.
Awan added, “From head to toe, they are set in the office or when they go outside, but that is not how they are at home.”
The discussion, however, moved beyond appearance to women’s independence, financial awareness and the importance of developing practical life skills rather than relying entirely on their husbands.
Yasir emphasised the importance of women being knowledgeable and informed so they can participate in conversations with their spouses. “Women should be knowledgeable so when their husbands come home, they can discuss topics together and she can be a part of conversations,” she said.
Zuberi agreed, pointing out that many homemakers may not be familiar with financial matters and other practical responsibilities.
“Many stay-at-home women do not know about finances, accounts, or how to pay bills. So, if they ever lose their husbands, they will face many struggles about what to do. I believe husbands and wives should go on their journey together and the husband should teach wives important life skills,” she said.
She stressed that such skills are particularly important for women who marry at a young age. “We also get married very young, so this kind of training is essential,” she added.
Awan, who recently lost her husband, shared a personal experience to explain why she believes husbands should help their wives become more independent.
“Faisal tried to teach me how to drive, but I have a phobia of crashing. No matter how many times he tried to explain to me that accidents can happen to anyone. When he got his heart attack, I could not even drive the car and he was driving while suffering. When the car was about to crash at one point near the hospital, I just closed my eyes,” she recalled.
Looking back, Awan said she sometimes felt that her husband may have known he would not live for long because he regularly encouraged her to learn new skills and become independent.
“It is like he knew he wouldn’t live long. He supported me to work and encouraged me no matter how much I complained that I would not be able to do acting well. He wanted me to be stable and independent, so I really believe that all husbands should train their wives to be more knowledgeable,” she said.
Zuberi also stressed that responsibilities within a marriage should be mutual and that men should contribute to household work, particularly when both spouses are employed.
“One complaint about men is that even if women also work office jobs, they expect them to handle the housework alone. Abroad, there is a completely different concept where both the wife and husband work together at home, but in this society, men believe it is their right to sit down and have everything handed to them,” she said.
The discussion ultimately highlighted broader expectations surrounding marriage, from physical appearance and domestic responsibilities to financial literacy and personal independence.
